Brian’s Feet

Brian is known to have delicate little size 4 feet. They allow him to tiptoe around the house in the dead of night, so he does not alert Mother. One time, Brian was venturing to the kitchen in order to grab some cauliflower for a midnight snack. He grabbed the plate from his fridge, but the sheer force of his grip on the glass plate made him lose balance, causing him to fall to the floor. The crash between him and the ground shook the whole house. Brian was still shrouded in darkness, but he knew that something was wrong. Mother awoke from her slumber and galloped to the kitchen. She flipped the light switch, and a gruesome sight was laid before her. The shards of glass from Brian’s cauliflower dish had pierced his sweet little feet. His toes had all cuts and bruises on them now, and they were bleeding out because of the glass. Brian’s mom rushed him to the hospital, where a life changing operation took place.

Brian does not have feet anymore. Instead, the doctors blessed him with 6-foot tall stilts for feet. He walks around like a pirate with his twin peg-legs now. He still keeps his original feet in his fridge, as a monument to what once was. Brian can no longer sneak out of his room late at night for a midnight snack, as his rickety old peg-legs make too much noise and wake up the whole house. Brian enjoys the new height he has gained, but when asked about possibly reattaching his old feet and getting rid of the peg-legs, Brian responded with:

”This goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?”

Brian then wobbled away to new horizons.