Fate and Legacy

BNugg's luck would not last forever though: one day Hutchinson, greatest of all of Grace Reagan's servants found Bnuggs while he was busy wrecking the shit of campus ministry's spikeball set with brenny, Dick Chad, Fuckboy, and the other VietCong. Hutchinson found Brian filling up his Bike with cocaine and took the opportunity to chop BNuggs head off with his giant flaming axe. Then Hutchinson burned BCheef's essence into ash with his fire breath and threw the ashes into a Black Hole. And that, kiddies, is why Brian doesn't show up in the history books.

''The editor was found dead several days later, dildos shoved in both of his eye sockets. The only evidence authorities found were traces of cocaine on the body and motorcycle tracks that lead straight into a wall, up it, and then end without explanation.''

Anyway, the real reason none of us have seen Brian for a while is because of his "experiment," which involved him taking EVERY SINGLE DRUG known to sentient creatures (and quite a few that aren't) in under a minute. It took him three weeks of repeated testing until he got it under a minute, after which he fell off his bike, blacked out and has spent the last few decades comatose.

''This editor was also found dead several days later with dildos shoved into his ears. The only evidence authorities found was traces of cocaine and some heroin needles on his body and motorcycle tracks that lead straight into the wall, up it, and on to the ceiling before disappearing without any explanation. The only suspect is a spider bike.''

^^^^^^^^^^^

Disregard that cocaine addled shit. According to records Brian Nguyen was found dead within the light end of a swimming pool in a Coast Guard Training facility. He was pronounced dead on site and two on site medics proceeded to die of excessive laughter after realize he had died in service of the Coast Guard.

''This editor was found much like the other two prior editors, having been found with more dildos in his mouth then anatomically possible. Investigators at the scene only found large quantities of cocaine, fentanyl, and an sparkly pink dust that authorities have been unable to identify at this time. The bike tracks found on the walls and ceiling were dismissed by officials as a bizarre form of interior decorating.''